Jealousy

This is the ugly green caught in the darkness of the black tainted heart. Why the fuck did I fall in love. This wasn't what my college life was suppose to be. I couldn't be my usual self and tell everyone to go fuck themselves, instead the bullshit "you need to make friends, experience life, and have fun" lines that everyone throws out when becoming a freshman were put into my mind like inception. But deeper and farther below than just that third level of the dream within a dream lies the deep dark abyss not like limbo but something much worse than so. Filled with that green envy of jealousy for that person I have feeling for,,, is holding another. So think of it I shant and distract I shall do, as I listen to Dir En Grey and I claw and my wounds. I have destroyed my arms, though that matters not, for there is no one to hold me, I fall in the dark. How long can I wait,,, of that I'm not sure. Will we ever be,,, of course I don't know. All the answers lie in you, and everything you do. Whom will you choose. Not question of choice??? You can't hear my voice. Because I'm not an option, I gave all I had,,, due to my wrong assumption.
Ai wa Gomi desu, demo daisuki, saranghae, Ich Liebe Dich, Te Amo, Wo ai ni, Je T'aime.
It is your choice,,,,,,there was never and option.